For me it’s important to keep them. For others not so much. Like most parts of widowhood it really depends on the person and what they feel they need. For me I want to make sure that Logan knows who his dad was. So keeping some traditions is super important.

Before I met Stephen I though these tux tees were kind of dorky and cheese. And they are. I still think that. But Stephen had several of them. He loved them. And he was silly and wore them proudly. It was hard not to fall in love with all of it.

Of course Stephen wanted Logan in the same shirts. So that’s what we did. I missed getting the shirt last year. With covid just ramping up my head wasn’t thinking about it. This year I got on Amazon and ordered him the shirt. I also made sure the rest of the household had their green.

It’s a holiday that we don’t need to worry about. I could have tossed just any old green thing on Logan. But I want to keep the tradition. I love that he asked me to fix his hair so that he looks like dada.

For me keeping traditions is a huge part of keeping Stephen alive for Logan. There are other tradition around other days. Things I still do because that’s what I did with Stephen. And it gives Logan a glimpse into his dad and where he came from.

I know some people think that’s not ok. They think we should walk away from those things. I’ve been told that keeping Stephens memory alive is disrespectful to Jonathan. And I have to firmly disagree. Jonathan is a wonderful man who embraces Stephens memory as I do the memory of Bethany. It doesn’t bother him when Logan wants to look like Stephen. He can see clear as day when Logan acts like Stephen. And he smiles.

Moving forward in life doesn’t mean you have to give up traditions. Keeping traditions and stupid funny little things doesn’t mean you aren’t ready to love someone new. It just means that you can love someone new while still holding on to the things you love.

Like these stupid, dorky, cheese tux shirts.


#thatwidowedmom #lifeafterloss #claylojr