Finding the Value

I haven’t really written in the blog in the last week and a half. I’ve been adjusting to having a new baby. It’s been a wonderful adjustment.

I should be asleep right now. But I’m not. Tony woke up and needed a change and to nurse. I was more than happy to do so. This brand new baby new born stuff is totally new to me. But I know that when I was finally able to I nursed on demand with Logan and I want to do the same with Tony. So I am. We are still working out his latch. But I also know that’s part of his learning curve. As this is all brand new to him too.

He falls asleep nursing a lot. And I have to wake him to finish and burp. It’s super cute. At a point he stops waking and I lay him back down. But I also know he didn’t empty me. So I pumped. Keeping me up longer then I would like. But helping me not hurt. So I will sleep better. Added bonus is I have a little in the freezer now. And both Jonathan and Beverly have been able to give Tony a bottle.

Being the mom of a newborn is exhausting. I’m glad I’m off work right now because I’ve been so tired and doing my best to sleep when Tony sleeps. Not the entire time because he sleeps a lot. But as much as I can around pumping and what not. Mostly I’ve just been chillin with him and on his schedule. Which I think is how it should be at this point. I will work on getting him on a schedule later. But not now. Right now it’s about him telling me when he is hungry and tired.

I need to fall back asleep. Everyone else in the house is asleep. And I’m going to have a toddler come and wake me in a couple of hours. And need to nurse Tony again. Logan has a birthday party to go to today. But I’ll be home with the baby while he is there. So I’ll take my chance to nap with the baby then.

Feeling totally blessed to get to do this newborn part. I missed out on so much with Logan. And as much as getting up in the middle of the night sucks I’m also truly valuing this time. In the past three years I’ve learned a lot about finding the value in what you have. What it’s right in front of you. And I’m doing that. This new little man is a lot of work. But it’s work I’m glad to do. He is only this small for so long. It goes by so quickly. So I’m soaking it up while I can.


#tonydsterling #thatwidowedmom #lifeafterloss