Waking into the holiday season.
This can be so hard for most of the widowed community. And time doesn’t change that. In fact for many wids time is the enemy. Time just showed us how long it has been.
As I walk into this season it will be the 3rd without Stephen. It’s so bizarre to think about. I’ll be honest here. I don’t miss Stephen any less then I did that first holiday season. I still notice the lack of him in my life every day. And there will be no way to not notice as he isn’t here for holidays and our birthdays again this year.
My goal this year is to make the holidays as wonderful as I can for the kids. Keeley and Jacob will be in Florida for thanksgiving. Jonathan will be taking Logan to my families thanksgiving things while I am home with the baby. And then when they get home we will watch Stephens favorite thanksgiving movie. Over Christmas we will have all the kids here. And I hope to make it as amazing as I can. It will be the first one with four kids. And my goal is magical.
For our household December comes with other dates too. It isn’t just the holidays. December 4th will mark two years without Bethany. There is no way that is going to be an easy day. She is so greatly missed. And I know we will feel her loss. We also have three birthdays. Mine, Jonathan’s and Stephens. As much as we celebrate birthdays there is still the knowledge that they aren’t here for these days. And we wish they were. And it will be the 3rd of Stephens birthdays without him. And because of just having a baby I can’t go to Vegas to celebrate him this year. And I know that’s going to be hard.
With all of these things I know it can be easy to feel overwhelmed during this time of year. My goal this year is different then the last couple. This year I want to try to find the good. To try to find the things to be thankful for. To cherish.
One thing we have learned as wids is to cherish life. To notice the things that before we would have looked over. To let go of the things that don’t matter and hold onto things that do. It’s hard. It’s so easy in this life to let the wrong things stress us out. To forget to see the value in our families and the little moments. And in the end those moments end up being what matter most.
So that’s my focus this holiday season. To try to notice the little moments. To create memories and share love. To acknowledge the sad and celebrate the happy. To let go of those things that don’t really matter. To spend time with my family. Value what is in front of me. To look for things to be grateful for.
?TWM
#focusonwhatmatters #thatwidowedmom #lifeafterloss
