There is so much truth in this.
I remember after Stephen and I got married there was a while where we had a hard time. Like really hard. Like maybe getting married was a mistake kind of hard time.
I got really depressed. I loved this man so much. But I couldn’t stand him. Neither of us ever wanted to be home around each other. We would have a good day here and there but it felt like most of what we did was fight. And it broke my heart.
But like I’ve said before I always had dreams that he was going to up and die on me some day. So even when we were fighting I tried my hardest to not go to bed or have one of us leave the house for work without me telling him I loved him. I may not have liked him much at that moment. But I always told him I loved him.
Needless to say we got past that hard time. We did the work and fixed our marriage rather than giving up on it and each other. Something that isn’t done often these days. And it was hard. But I’m glad we did it. We were so much stronger on the other side. I fell in love with Stephen all over again. And it was so much deeper than it had been before. So worth the work it takes to keep a marriage.
The day Stephen was killed started like every other day. I was giving Logan breakfast and he got strawberries all over himself. Stephen was in the shower getting ready for work so I handed him Logan to rinse off. Then I started getting ready for the day while Stephen got Logan dressed and put him down to play with his toys.
Before Stephen walked out of the house we hugged and kissed each other and said I love you. And it wasn’t the do it because you should kind. It was heart felt. Embracing my partner. Excited that it was almost our wedding anniversary and we would have extra time hanging out together. Deep love in the I love you.
Yes we talked on the phone later. About 15 minutes before he was killed. But what matters most to me was saying goodbye that morning. That I told him I loved him. That he told me he loved me. That we hugged and kissed. Because later that night my worst nightmare came true. He left for work and never made it back home. But at least the last time he saw me I was hugging and kissing him and telling him I love him.
Always say it. Value saying to and hearing it from your partner. It may sound like the dumbest thing to make sure to do. But if you love your SO tell them. Every day. Before one of you leaves the house. When getting off the phone. Before going to bed. Even if you are mad at them. Even if in that moment you don’t like them much. Still let them know you love them. It may be the last thing you ever get to say to them.
?TWM
#thatwidowedmom #sayiloveyou #lifelessonsthehardway