We had to take a Halloween break. Don’t get me wrong we still have a lot to do to get ready for the baby. But we also needed to take a moment to enjoy this season.
This is the last Halloween where Logan will be the baby. And the first where where Jacob is getting used to the role of big brother. In 4 days their worlds will change as we bring a new sibling into the world.
I’m glad we took last night and the first part of today to just enjoy October. To put on our jack o lantern shirts and just have some family fun.
It can be very hard for me to live in the moment. I like to have things planned. When I lost Stephen I lost my plans. And now I battle between the part of me that always likes to plan and the part of me that feels no need because it could just be ripped away again.
The “that mom” part of me wants every little thing ready for the baby. It’s so very stressed about what we need to finish. About the house being a mess because I’ve been too tired this pregnancy to keep up with it. But I also know that my boys need to be able to have a break.
So I said forget it to my cleaning plans. We got all dirty last night carving pumpkins. Ate pizza on the floor and watched Hocus Pocus. And today the boys are getting to run around like crazy kids. Pics in the pumpkin patch, feeding animals and playing in the dirt. Because kids need to be able to do these things. They need to be able to get messy and have fun. And not always be on mamas strict schedule.
I’m taking in every bit of this last season before the new baby arrives. One thing being widowed teaches you is to value what you have right in front of you. To not take these little moments for granted. Because at the end of the day these moments are what make life special. These moments build the transitions we will hold. And put smiles on our boys faces.
And at the end of the day giving the boys these moments is everything.
?TWM
#thatwidowedmom #lifeafterloss #halloween #takingthebreak