As some know my sons birth three years ago wasn’t a good event. There ended up being large complications that had me hospitalized for weeks.
From my first appointment with my OB this time we have had talks about a scheduled c section vs a Vback. Logans birth robbed me of a traditional birth. And there is nothing that can be done about that. We tried. I was in labor for over 30hrs. In active labor with back to back contractions for 24hrs. We tried everything. I wouldn’t dilate. I spiked a fever and both mine and Logans heart rates went all over the place. We had no choice but to get him out and quickly. And then my body wasn’t happy and started shutting down.
After months of talking I still couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. It is such a personal and emotional choice for me. Then last week I had a moment where it just hit me. I needed to go the safer route. I don’t want to risk internal tearing and bleeding and my body trying to fall apart again. Logan already lost a dad. Jonathan already lost a wife. Jacob and Keeley already lost a mom. None of them need to lose me too. And yes I know that is worst case. But I still had to think about it. So I made up my mind.
When I got to my doctors appointment she told me she has been talking to the specialist and they both agreed that for me a scheduled c section was going to be what was best. And I told her I agreed. This way she can have a plan. I know for sure my doctor will be doing it. So it will not be someone reading about what happened before. But someone who first hand saw how my body reacted. She is already planning out what meds I will need to take and how she wants to go about getting the baby out with touching as little as she can as to not upset my intestines. She has scheduled a surgeon on stand by just in case there is an issue when she opens me up. There is a plan.
Yes things could still go wrong. I could go into labor before the date. There could be a lot of scar tissue that makes things difficult. You never really know. But I got peace knowing there is a plan in place.
The birth of a child is still a miracle. It’s not the traditional birth I have always wanted to have. But it is safer. And at the end of the day that’s what matters.
Soooo October 28th, 2020 is the day! That’s when we are planning on meeting our little Jelly Bean. I’m nervous but also very excited. 6&1/2 weeks and our little man will be here!
?TWM
#lifeafterloss #tonydsterling #thatwidowedmom