There are so many different thoughts when it comes to rings. Some people take them off right away and others never do.
Which is right?
Both. Yes I said that. Both.
Want to take your ring off the day your spouse dies. Ok. Do that.
Don’t ever want to take your ring off? Ok. Don’t. And don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to.
At the end of the day when and if you take off your ring is so incredibly personal. And no one but you can know what is right for you.
I’ve seen people say that someone wearing their ring means that they aren’t ready to move on. For some people that may be true. But for others it is not. See not everyone is the same. So what each person needs and holds onto is different.
Over the last years I’ve met widow/ers that have done different things. I see many that have stressed about when it is time. Should or shouldn’t they take the ring off. What if they take it off and someone thinks it too soon. Others that have had people tell them it’s time to take it off.
Please let me make this super clear: never tell a widowed person when it is time to take their ring off. It is no ones place to say when it is time. And if you think you are helping let me kindly tell you that you are way out of line. It is a personal decision made by the widowed and only them.
Along with those that take them off right away and those that never do there is the rest. Those that keep it on for a while and then over time remove it. And ALL of these time frames are ok.
For those that aren’t widowed please don’t make the assumption that someone wearing a ring isn’t ready. The ring means different things to different people. For some it is a symbol they can’t look at and thus they take it off. For others they feel married still and take it off when they have accepted their loss. But for some the ring never comes off because they feel like wearing it honors their late spouse. It isn’t because they aren’t ready. They do however feel that their hearts can honor their late love while still loving a new person.
When most widow/ers are truly ready to date again and find love it doesn’t mean they stop loving their late spouse. But rather their hearts grow to make space for a new person. They may keep pictures and tell stories. And yes they may wear their ring. To honor their late love. To show respect for the relationship they had. For a number of personal reasons. And it’s ok.
So to all the widowed community: please know that whatever you want to do with your ring is okay. No one but you gets to say what to do with your ring. No one. This is extremely personal. And you need to do what feels right for your heart. For some of you it is going to be removing your ring right away. For others it will be over time. And for some the ring will stay. And every single one of these options is ok and needs to be respected by those around you.
Please do not let anyone tell you what you need to do. It is not up to them. No matter who they are. Those that truly care about you will be able to respect what you want to do. Will respect your late spouse and the relationship you had and will not be upset about what you chose to do with your ring. Please always know that.
?TWM
#thatwidowedmom #lifeafterloss #whattodowiththering #movingforward
Please guide me our vows says till death do us part so why keep the ring?
I took mine off after five good years.
I truly think it is a personal choice. Some want to take it off. Other don’t. And I think both are ok. When he gave me that ring it was for me to wear for the rest of my life. And it’s a beautiful ring. Why would I not want to wear it? If I was an older widow no one would question me wearing my ring. No one questions my mil because she is 90. She is never going to take off her wedding ring. And people are ok with that. But for young widows it gets questioned. And I honestly don’t think that is fair. My late husband gave me a beautiful ring he wanted me to wear for the rest of my life. And I intend to do just that. It’s ok if others don’t. Doesn’t bother me one bit. But I want to wear mine.