One year ago today I posted this picture. A couple weeks before this I made a new friend on Facebook. A widower around my age that lived in Houston. We had been chatting and decided to go see a movie. We saw Toy Story 4 and followed that by going to lunch. The movie was really good and the lunch was even better.
The way Logan is looking at Jonathan says he knew something I didn’t yet know. It would be a couple more weeks before our first date. At this point I was just looking at a new friend. But I can say for sure that I knew talking to him was super easy. I was happy to be adding him to my life. It’s amazing how much can change in a year.
This past year has had many ups and downs for me. Year two gets you moving out of the widow fog and moving onto the understanding that this really is your new life. Your spouse really isn’t coming back and you have to make yourself adjust to that.
Starting the process of moving forward and meeting someone new can be two fold.
On one hand it can complicate grief. There can be guilt associated with starting to have feelings for someone that isn’t your late spouse. Those first few smiles, moments of happiness….they can come with feelings of guilt. Someone that isn’t your person made you smile. Someone that wasn’t your person made you laugh and feel happiness. In a way you never thought you would again. And that’s scary.
On the other hand you smiled. Someone made you laugh and feel happiness in a way you haven’t felt in forever. For just a moment you forgot to be sad. You have found someone you look forward to seeing and spending time with. It’s a big deal.
We didn’t know it then but this picture was taken at the beginning of mine and Jonathan’s story. The next chapter in our lives. I’m so glad I stepped out if my comfort zone that day. That I met my new friend for a movie and lunch. It changed my life in ways I could have never imagined.
?TWM
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