These are my boys.
Logan: made me a mom. He was the baby I truly didn’t think I would ever have. He is the little piece of Stephen I get to keep.
Jonathan: showed me that I can love again. Is probably the most understanding person I’ve ever met. Has stepped up to be the dad Logan will know and loves my son as his own.
Jacob: my bonus son. He has been given challenges no child his age should have had. Becoming a bonus mom wasn’t something I saw happening in my life. But if I could pick any boy in the world to be my bonus child it is him.
There are other members of my family. Keeley who has moved to Florida. Stephen and Bethany. Who are physically not here, but with us in spirit. A blended family isn’t something I pictured for my life. My therapist said I need to spend some time on how I feel about becoming a bonus mom.
My home is different than I thought it would be. That is a fact. It can be a bit of a mind trip to think of the changes that have happened in my life. Logan was going to be the oldest child. Now he is the 3rd. In 6 months he will have a little brother. He isn’t going to be the baby anymore. But he also isn’t the oldest. Logan loves having siblings. We shall see how he adjust to not being the baby.
I honestly don’t know how much I’ve assessed becoming a bonus mom. It’s different. It isn’t always easy. There are vast differences between how I was raised and how they were. So coming in with them in their preteen and teenage years is different for sure. They have trauma from their childhood watching their mother slowly die. They are now learning to adjust to a world without Bethany. And with me as a bonus mom. It isn’t always smooth sailing. But it is worth it. I love those kids. And I want to honor Bethany in helping Jonathan raise them.
As the only female in this house I am completely outnumbered. But I don’t mind. When I was pregnant I was hoping it was a boy. I was so so happy when I found out it was in fact a boy. And I got my Logan. Logan. The name I wanted to name a little boy for years. I love that my house is filled with boys and that I have one more on the way.
They make my heart so happy.