The last thing on earth I ever wanted was to be a single mom. Widow hadn’t really crossed my mind. Like every marriage Stephen and I had our moments. At the end of the day we always choose to work it out. We said till death. We meant that. When we got married I kept taking my bc. It was part of my every day. About 3months after our wedding Stephen saw that and looked hurt. Asking me why I was still doing that. We were married. It was ok if we got pregnant. To him saying “I do” meant ready for kids. It took over 2yrs. I got to the point where I was tracking and crying each month when I wasn’t. Then we went to Vegas for his birthday and I slept through the entire trip. When we got home I was late and took a test on Dec 24th…didn’t think through the idea that I had to go manage a shift as a steak house manager on one of the busyness nights of the year. I didn’t text Stephen when I got the results. I didn’t want to mess with his day. So I gave him the test as his first Christmas gift. I told him it wasn’t for sure. It was just 1 test. We both held our breaths. He was too afraid to be happy. At the time it hurt my feelings. He had told me he wanted this. Then in February a doc was able to confirm. He smiled so big when he heard the heartbeat, even looked sad at just one kid. (We both hoped for twins) Yet still kept it at arms length. Again hurting my feelings. Then at 14 weeks the doc said we were past the fear of loosing the baby and that things looked great. Stephens demeanor changed right away. He was so happy. Then a few more weeks and the doc cleared that the baby was growing as needed and had cleared everything. We had a healthy baby. And he got even happier. The birth didn’t go well and I saw my husband cry. He didn’t cry a lot. But he did with this. He was so worried about me and Logan. He was so stressed. Then we were all home and healthy. He so loved being a dad. Logan was his world. Our relationship got to the best place it had ever been in. We still had our moments. But none that lasted too long. We would talk and understand that we were a family and this was forever. I thought I had forever. That time was stolen. ? #claylo #dontdrinkanddrive