This picture is from two years ago. Because I don’t want to take a picture of me right now. Today is one of the bad days. I do my best to hold it together. I smile and I have a task list. Today isn’t going to be that day. Today I asked my mom to take care of Logan for me. I had to. I know people keep telling me to be strong and remember to take care of Logan. These people haven’t suddenly lost their spouse while having a baby. So they have no clue what I’m feeling. And really, for the most part, I have kept it together. But some days I need to be able to break a little. I need a day where someone doesn’t think I’m such a bad mom that they feel the need to remind me to take care of my child. So take a deep breath. I’ve made sure he is taken care of. I took care of a lot of little things last week. And the last two days. And today I need to be able to fall apart. I need it to be ok if I fall apart. Because it is. I have to have moments where I stop and really process. So please give me some grace today. I may post some random things. Because today I need to feel. Not a guarded feel. Not checking myself to make sure I don’t worry anyone. But to just feel. #dontdrinkanddrive — at Chateau Claylo.